Cartoon Babylon

First, Bert from Sesame Street revealed himself to be an al-Qaeda operative.



Then, Spongebob Squarepants was identified as a dangerous homosexual, grooming young fans to his ways. Now, the Smurfs get bombed to shit to prove a lesson in escalatory global conflict.

When cartoons go bad we must raise our eyes to the skies and gravely ask ourselves:

What is going on, my droogies?

Well, let's step back a moment. The Bert-Osama connection may be a fraud. Another twist in the labyrinthine 'Bert is Evil' conspiracy - if you don't know it, it's sort of a muppet da Vinci Code - and, like Mohammed Atta meeting Iraqi intelligence in Prague, the whole thing was probably a set-up. Spongebob Bob is undoubtedly of indeterminate sexuality - as only a hermaphrodite cartoon sponge with arms and legs can be - but he gets a free pass because his Christian values nemesis is a complete psycho. And the Smurfs..? Well, I don't know.

I always found them a bit creepy.